Nobody But Me?

No, thats not what you think it is.

You see, here in Asia karaoke is damn huge. There are KTV karaoke parties all the time and huge buildings devoted to karaoke. Unlike the US when you sing over here it is in a small room with your friends and you can eat and drink in there--it's not in front of some huge bar, usually.

With that in mind, let me ask you what you think happens when a company has a year end dinner party. The answer is lots of singing in front of the group. People here aren't embarrassed if they sing poorly. Some nights I come home and find the street outside my apartment closed since there is a local karaoke night. They suck really bad. Or when I was at the mafia wedding one of the biggest dons in all of Taiwan got up to sing a song even though he wasn't very good.. Last year I dodged a bullet at my company party and my customer's party when I was able to perform a magic show.

But that luck ended this year. My customer specifically requested that I provide a song and dance. Shit. I can't sing and I can't dance well. So what to do? I was thinking of doing a lip sync (and I probably will) so the question is to what song will I do lip sync?

My boss had this song as his idea (he's making me do the performance alone). Oh Korean ladies, why do you have to do this song and make my life hard (skip to 2:00):



First off, I'll give them credit since the song is catchy. But come on! No way in hell am I singing and dancing to a song that is performed by 5 girls. Come to think of it maybe I should get another group of Korean women to come and do the performance for me:



Frankly, if I have to sing I'm thinking of doing this song:



The song is simple and catchy and not too many non-Chinese will know it well. In fact, I remember when it came on in a store in Beijing one day and everyone stopped and sang alone. This song is also more appropriate than my favorite Taiwanese song (get a lyrics translation):



對我來説林志零算什麽! The end part is pretty funny since he's singing "把手放在空中甩" which means wave your hands in the air. Then he tells all the ladies to take their shirts off and throw their bras in the air. Oh, MC Hot Dog you amaze me.